taken on 21Oct using joey’s phone
26th Oct @ HaloBar
with Joey n Michelle
sang at e room for 2 hours pluz
Snowball n Cranberry juice
went out to sing
1 jug of Carlsberg
had more den usual
blah drunk!
i promised joey tt it will be e last time im gg there
i begged her to acc me over..
bcuz…i wanna get myself hurt all over
i wanna bang e wall
despite alreadi knowing tt there iz a wall infront
e more pain i feel
e deeper e cut
e faster i will recover
thatz me….
i wanted to noe wad his reaction will be wen he saw me..
will he still talk to me?
or
will he ignore me
he iz supposed to ignore me
den i will cry..i will get hurt..
n onli then will i recover
will i then tell myself to stop being one-sided
tell myself to WAKE UP
BUT
he talked to me..
he touched me..
he make me drop over heels for him..
i told him how i felt via phone
he rejected me e next dae
-anyway juz wanted to sae sorry..r we still frenz?
-iz not u iz me..im not ur cup of tea..
-wen u grow up ull understand..
i used all tis sentences before..
it feels weird
being told by another person to me..
retribution?
for hurting other guys?
…
…
…
tis morning he im me..
he sae he iz thinking of me..
i wanna faint
i wanna drop tears
i wanna begged him to gif it a try
to gif it a shot
im telling myself
screaming at myself
to stop it….
im forcing myself
begging myself
to haf more feelings for justin
to be onli thinking of justin
…
